Mindset # 3 The ‘rain puppy’ factor
Imagine a rainy day and a view from your window. You see a little white puppy, completely soak, dripping with sad eyes, staring deeply at you. When we fail, we feel like that puppy on the rainy day. Let me take you through some thoughts of mine when the rain puppy creeps in-
- I am the saddest person on earth.
- There is no one in the whole world that understands or cares about me.
- I am so poor; I could eat out of a dumpster soon.
- I will die alone and my cat might eat me.
- Without an expensive college education, I will never be a well to do, rich person.
- My dreams will never come true because I have no support from anyone at all.
- My life was may be a mistake and all I can expect from it is disappointment.
You get my point, right? The rain puppy factor makes you feel like you are the only sad soul in the world who needs all the sympathy and care you possibly can. You may focus on the things that you don’t have and pity yourself for living your life in rough conditions.
Guess what dude? Most of us have been there, done that. Feeling sorry for ourselves is natural. When we share our troubles with family and friends, even then, most people will just get some entertainment value out of your misery and very rare will actually help. You are extremely lucky if you have more people ready to listen and help you out, but again, check their intentions.
Anyway, focusing on the rain puppy, you might genuinely need support for the troubles you are going through. You might be facing bullies at work or school, you may be facing mental and/or physical abuse in your relationship, someone could be stalking you, or you may be simply feeling lost and worried with the ‘empty nest’ syndrome after your children have grown up and left you. Disease, financial stress, eating disorders, million things could be worrying you and most of them would make you feel like the rain puppy.
Whatever your problem may be, seek help! Most people in self help books and gurus will tell you to get that sad feeling out of yourself by some abstract thought process but I disagree with that. Whenever you feel like a rain puppy, there is a genuine reason behind it. Your mindset should know how to differentiate between useless stress and genuine stress. If you feel like you are undergoing a genuine stress, go to Google and search what sort of help is available. Thanks to the internet age, there are wonderful charity organizations working almost in every corner of the world that offer free and confidential advice to people who need help.
I am not against being brave; I am just more realistic with my options. When you are always pushed to be brave, take up all the challenges and fight on your own, you are being unrealistic with yourself and more likely to fall face first. Being brave is good but at times in life; our internal strength to fight back vanishes due to natural reasons. Here is a perfect example.
A wife is constantly being mentally abused by her husband. Although she is a Harvard graduate and is a professional woman, she still remains in the marriage. People like you and I would ask why the hell does she stay? She is an educated woman, she is financially stable, and why doesn’t she just leave? The fact is, although she is all those things, she is also a human being with a body system. Due to stress, the cortisol hormone in her body increases which in turn shuts down the thinking capacity of her brain. She may look normal from outside, but her brain works differently. Which is why even the toughest of us, need help at times.
This was an example of the genuine rain puppy. The useless rain puppy factor is when we complain about not having enough money to buy some new car or not being able to go for holidays twice a year. You can still seek help on those issues from gurus and consultants on those particular areas but these are more of useless stress factors which you need to eliminate.