What Mr Mulayam Singh Yadav and Abu Azmi need to know about rape and false rape accusations

The media shocked the world recently when they broadcasted insensitive remarks of CM Mulayam Singh Yadav and Abu Azmi about rape:

 “rape accused should not be hanged. Men make mistakes… Handing death sentence for rape is not fair… boys make mistakes… there will be changes in the law if we come to power . Efforts will be made to change such a law so that those misusing it are punished. Those filing false reports will also be taken to task. When their friendship ends, the girl complains she has been raped.” The SP chief was citing the recent example of the Shakti Mills gang rape case where a young photo journalist was gang raped by five men inside the compound, out of which three of the accused had also earlier raped a 19 year old girl. The three accused were given the death penalty. Following in the heels of Mulayam Singh, Abu Azmi of the Samajwadi Party went on to shock the nation further. According to a report in Mid-Day, he was quoted saying, “Rape is punishable by hanging in Islam. But here, nothing happens to women, only to men. Even the woman is guilty. In India, if you have sex with a person with consent, it’s fine. But if that same person complains, it’s a problem. Nowadays, we see a lot of such cases. Girls complain when someone touches them, and even when someone doesn’t touch them. It becomes a problem then, and the man’s honour is ruined in this. If rape happens with or without consent, it should be punished as prescribed in Islam.”

Read more here, here and here.

The media, Bollywood and other prominent figures of India expressed their disgust and condemned this demeaning statement of our prominent politicians, but there is more to the story. These statements from people with power are not just personal opinions, they are proof that reflect illiteracy of these people with regards to human rights violations. It is lack of gender based education that makes people act this way.

In this article, you will find out the reality of false rape accusations.

Lesson # 1
Types of rape scenarios


The first thing you need to know about a rape accusation is that not all rapes are similar. There are different scenarios of rape that can be summarized under these headings:

Animalistic rape is one where the victim’s body has been injured beyond repair or where weapons or tools have been used to inflict intentional pain.

Minor Rape is rape with anyone under 18, including infants.

Alcohol and drug Rape is one in which the victim is under the influence of alcohol or drugs. If she is too drunk to drive, she is unable to give consent.

Gang rape is where more than one offender is involved for ex the gang rape that took place on Dec the 16th 2012 in Delhi.

Date Rape is when a male and a female are dating or in relationship when rape takes place.

Marital Rape is when the victim is married to the offender.

As you can clearly see that there are 6 kinds of rape scenarios and the possibility of a false rape accusation boils down to just the last 2!!!

There is no way any female would lie about the first 4 types because they are out of question. No human can destroy half their body on purpose just to accuse a man. Having intercourse with a minor is automatically rape with or without consent and every man must know that. Similarly drinking alcohol or taking drugs is NOT illegal in India for neither men nor women. But that certainly does not give others the right to take advantage of a drunk person, male or female. Same applies to gang rape.

Lesson # 2

Speaking of date rape and marital rape…

Yes, there are chances that few women might lie about being raped for whatever reason and our politicians seem to be much more worried about the false rape accusations than that of the real ones.

Again there are few myths that need to be cleared here:

Rape and False rape accusations are two entirely different issues. False accusations are common in all crime activities and comparably much lesser in rape crimes. Fighting for justice for a rape victim is equally important to fighting for the rights of an innocent man. Please note that neither of these two must be compromised under the benefit of doubt.

From what our patriarchal male society and these politicians suggest, there is clearly a benefit of doubt being given to men by compromising the rights of a rape victim.

Lesson # 3

Actual rape cases vs false rape cases


I understand the concern of our politicians though and have put together these statistics because numbers don’t lie, right?

A recent report claimed that over 35% of rape cases were found fake last year after police investigation.

Meaning, in every 100, there are 35 women lying about rape.

Now consider the fact that Ninety percent of the rape cases in India go unreported”.

This would mean that the actual rape victims in India are many more than we know of. The ratio between real rape victims and false rape would be something like 155:35

While false rape accusations are an issue, it is a much smaller number in comparison to the mounting rape cases that actually happen in every day life of an Indian woman.

Lesson # 4

The woman that lies about rape:

The truth about women who claim to be raped falsely is also worth noting.

Many women take back their own claims or give a statement that they lied about it in marital cases. Often the husband is the man they love and when he asks for forgiveness and make promises, the woman has a change of heart and takes back her claims. Please note that, taking back these charges do not mean that the crime did not occur. It simply means that the woman is trying to be merciful, either for the sake of her children or her memories with that man.

In a country like India, women are also threatened for life if they report their rapists. More often than not, despite the FIR being registered, even the Police advises the victim and their family to take back their claims. This was clearly evident from the episode of Satyamevjayate by Amir Khan on fighting rape.

In the above horrendous case, how can one ever weigh the severity of rape cases against false accusations?

On one hand where thousands and thousands of young kids, girls, old women and happy women are ruined like plastic toys, are we really more worried about a few false accusations?

I am not saying that those falsely accused are of any less importance. Every living being has the right to justice, be it a man or a woman.

But if we live in a society where women can accuse men of false rape, why don’t we teach our men to be careful???

Honestly, I have never heard or read any rules or guidebook advising Indian men to be careful with what sort of women they sleep with. Recently, there was a case in the news about a married woman who claimed to be falsely raped to hide an extra marital affair. In such cases, why don’t we blame the man to make a choice to date a married woman in the first place? At this point, I can’t say if the woman’s claim is true or false but if I was a man, I would be careful in my actions.



Lesson # 5

Advice for men


As an activist for human rights, I truly think that instead of blaming women for everything that goes wrong in sexual assault cases, we must rather educate men on making wise choices. Here are a few pointers:

1. Don’t sleep with any person under 18
2. Don’t sleep with anyone on first few dates, unless you know her truly and are absolutely sure that she consents.
3. Don’t sleep with anyone who is drunk even if they insist.
4. Don’t assume you have anyone’s consent if they are shy.

Lesson # 6

The 7th kind of rape: Manipulative Rape

Manipulative Rape is a special kind of rape. This is the grey area of all rape investigation. This is a scenario where the offender rapes a victim, not through violence or aggression but manipulation. This rape is the most difficult to prove because the victim may not have made any noise and there may not be any injuries on her body. For ex, if a doctor rapes a patient in the name of examination, or if a religious authority rapes a victim by taking advantage of her superstitious beliefs etc

This rape can be prevented to some extent by education. In most cases women are unaware of their rights and young girls are too scared or embarrassed to even understand what exactly has happened with them. Nevertheless, it must not be given any benefits of doubt and with the help of forensic science and polygraphs, I believe false accusations can be detected early and easily.

Lesson # 7

Even when a woman does lie about rape…

As mentioned above, the chances or rather statistics of women lying about rape accusations is really low. 
Nevertheless it happens and when it does happen, the alleged accuser or the woman goes through a greater degree of scrutiny and investigation than the alleged rapist. 
Her character is questioned.
Her company of friends, upbringing, family background, profession…
She runs the risk of losing her life.
Her eating and drinking habits, in fact every single aspect of her life is questioned in detail.
She has to relive the entire horrendous experience while answering questions. 
And mind you, the questions are ugly, embarrassing and too personal, invading the entire privacy of an individual. 
On being accused of false claim, she runs the risk of being abandoned by her personal and social circles. But in a country like India, just by admitting rape, the victim as well as her family faces a social boycott by the society. 
Please use your common sense and ask yourself, isn’t that too big a price to pay for a false accusation???
Yes, there are false accusations but so does every other crime, why should only a rape victim’s plea be discounted? 
Indian women are dynamic and when few can be Sania Mirza and Kalpana Chawla, there may be hundreds or thousands more, waiting to be discovered, only if we allow them to thrive. Women’s safety must never be questioned because what father or brother would not want their sister’s or daughter’s to be safe? 
“Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weaknesses. “
Marie de Vichy-Chamrond



Love and Light
Shahla Khan




#rape #assault #TOI #NDTV #False rape #Mulayam Singh yadav #Abu Azmi #Satyamev Jayate #Amir Khan #justice #India #womens rights #human rights #violation 

Size does matter…..HOW BIG IS YOUR ENVIRONMENTAL FOOTPRINT?

Hello my Beautiful Readers,

While we argue for our environmental rights against the world’s plutocrats; we must also know how much carbon do we personally emit. The WWF has a fantastic calculator that can tell you your ecological footprint in just 5 minutes!!!

That’s great right? But sadly my footprint wasn’t that rewarding. It said that if everyone on the Earth lived like me, we would need 2.19 more of planet Earth 😦 awful right…

While I will do my best to keep my footprint in control, I share the calculator with you so you find out yours…

Happy Calculating…

Love and Light

CLICK HERE to find yours….

8 People you must AVOID sitting next to at a WEDDING

Hey my Beautiful readers,

Weddings are an integral part of our society and celebrations are great to meet people you never usually see. Nevertheless, some weddings suck if you are around the WRONG people…(especially if you are SINGLE)

Here is a list of those you must totally avoid:

1. A recently married couple
This couple would not stop bragging about their honeymoon and all the newly wed romance. Occasionally they will remind you about your single life and keep giving unwanted examples: “for example…see Mike and I are so happy that we got married…”blah blah blah

2. Mother of an eligible boy/girl   

Mothers literally go hunting during weddings. I have seen a neighbour of mine seem to introduce/advertise her daughters to every wealthy lady in the party just so she could get them in the ‘eligible girls’ frame. Desperation, god, desperation

3. You Ex
Goes without explanation but if you think hanging out with your ex would be a good idea, think again. Do you really want to know how great he/she has done after breaking up with you? And are you sure it wont bother you after the party? Or may be you want to renew your logical reasoning on why you broke up with them….

4. Father of an eligible bachelor
This dude is not to blame, it seems pretty natural.Nevertheless it starts to suck for others when this guys keeps bragging about how great their son is doing, he has got a wonderful job and how much he is earning. Time to time he will ask how much you earn and where you work. His son can offer work related advice if you are unemployed or still working at a retail centre hoping that your dream job could work out.

5. Any old lady over 50s
This is some serious industrial level UNWANTED ADVICE CENTRE! They will keep asking you about your single life. Why don’t you get married? You are ageing, you need to settle down etc etc They will even try to hook you up with their sister’s husband’s cousins’s uncle’s son.

6. Couple who has just celebrated the wedding of their kids
This couple would not shut up bragging about how their son-in-law and daughter are travelling around the world and enjoying their honeymoon. Every second will be full of advice; from how to find a big fish son-in-law to which airport their daughter is tweeting from right now! You will go crazy but they would not even realize.

7. New MOTHERS
While I love kids, I have to say- avoid new moms. If I know the Mom, I usually prefer to hang out with the baby alone, so I take the baby and go for a little walk. I cannot even tell you how many parties I have been to where I spent time hanging out with babies or under 10 kids. (Talk about mature company right?) But when you sit near their moms……….you would either hear how Einstein-of-a-baby she has given birth to ORRRRRRR she would keep complaining that she isn’t getting any sleep and that having a baby is like this and like that…

8. THE SALAD EATING CHICK
Every party has some, I am sure you will notice these. I personally do not go to weddings every now and then but when I do, I put on a limited amount of food on my plate (buffet dinners) and eat what I like without pretending to be one of those nerve racking ‘I am too slim to eat party food’ kind of b@@@@@@. Healthy diet is a part of our daily routine and there is NO doubt about it. But people who come to weddings and make others feel guilty or point out on their food are awful. They would say things like “OMG how oily is that…I don’t know how you can eat it, I could NEVERRRR digest that”  or  “OMG I am totally ditching my diet tonight because of you, I don’t usually eat this stuff” If you love food, like me, avoid this person.

There can be many more but these are the main ones… Share your insights and people you usually avoid when you go to parties.

Happy Singlehood 🙂

Love & Light

#wedding #annoying  #irritating #single  #matrimonial  #hunt  #groom #bride #aunt