A Very Public "I LOVE YOU" for the man I adore

For those of you who don’t know him, he is in his 60’s and very much non-retired, working 10 hours day, 6 days a week and prays (sometimes more than) 5 times a day.
The man with a pen between his fingers and a smile on his lips- my Dad!

My Dad is not a typical rough and tough macho sort of a guy. He is more like the inner strength and love and humour kind of dude (like Steve Martin). What else could you expect from a Diplomat but diplomacy and sophistication? He dedicated his life serving His Royal Highness, Prince Muqrin Bin Abdul Aziz, (who is next in line for throne in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia,) for 30 years before he finally moved to India. With a professional credential like this, he has never known pride and arrogance. He is kind to the strangest and weirdest of people and patient towards the most hateful.

Being an Indian Muslim of strong Islamic values he never fitted in with the typical orthodox men. He raised his daughters with all the freedom and love he possibly could muster and the only goal he followed was to teach us how to be good human beings.

The best way for a father to show his love for his children is to LOVE THEIR MOTHER and my Dad never fell short of love for his ‘Salma’- my Mom 😛

At this point I am miles away, seven seas across and I desperately want him to know that I LOVE HIM and he is not alone. Some talks in life are too difficult to make. When you are young and you fall in trouble or go through a rough time, your father and mother hold your hand and encourage you to live through setbacks. But when you grow up and somehow, someday your parents need similar encouragement, things get weird because (a)you are their kid, they always know better right?,  and (b) you dont want to hurt their feelings by advising them and showing that now that you are educated, you know more than them.

SO, WHAT DO YOU DO???

You say “I LOVE YOU, DAD”,
                                           yes, that’s it, no advice, no consolation, no preaching. Just I LOVE YOU.

And when you have a world of wonderful friends out there (who know your Dad and also those who don’t) then you request your friends to share the message and tell him “Shahla says ‘I LOVE YOU’ and in your own words, may be
1- few words of encouragement, a quote
2- few words of kindness
3- if you know him, may be a memory of him, a story to share with others about him
4- DUA- prayers for his well being and patience.
but if nothing comes to your mind, just copy paste “Shahla says ‘I LOVE YOU'” which might take 2 seconds of your time.
Here is him on FB

If you love your Dad, please share this message with as many Dads as possible and tell them that you love them, life is too short for procastination and yes even on days other than Father’s Day and his Bday, you are allowed to express your love. Respecting privacy is kind; to encourage someone we don’t always need to know the details of their life. Just letting them know that you are there for them, no matter how many million miles apart and praying for them is one of the greatest gifts you can give them even as complete strangers.

Thank you for your time and I pray that all the wonderful and sacrificng Dads of this world live longer, stronger and propser!- Ameen.
Love and Light
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How to Quickly Raise Your EI – Emotional Intelligence

Did you know that there is something that many successful people possess that the vast majority of us are completely ignorant of?

            It’s not their networks and connections. It’s not their specialized knowledge. It’s not their inheriting vast sums of fortunes.

            What is it?

            Emotional Intelligence.

            What’s that? Why is it important?

            Emotional Intelligence (or EI for short) refers to an individual’s ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions. EI involves abilities and skills such as; being cognizant of others’ nonverbal signals and facial expressions, understanding emotions and why they are being expressed, and lastly, managing emotions. That is, to properly regulate and respond appropriately to feelings.

            Ok, so now why is EI significant?

            Numerous studies over the years have shown that people with a higher than average Emotional Intelligent tend to; possess greater mental health, have exemplary job performance and demonstrate superior leadership skills.

            Imagine this.

            It’s a sweltering day in August and you have just finished an exhausting day at work. You are dead-tired, hungry, stuck in traffic and to top it off your vehicle’s AC has broken!

            A couple of cars down you notice through your foggy rearview mirror a small, light-blue car incessantly honking and swerving in and out of traffic. Finally, he stops behind your car and blares his horn at what seems like a million decibels.

            What is this guy’s problem?!! What a JERK!

            You become enraged with anger and step out of your vehicle. You are too ensconced in fury to notice this guy’s mouth is moving. He needs to be taught a lesson for his rudeness, and you will be the one to teach it to him.

            Except….you were too angry to notice his nine-month old pregnant wife in his backseat, looking to be experiencing quite painful labor.

            Oops.

            Perhaps had you had a higher Emotional Intelligence level, you would have been able to firstly, better control your own emotional response and secondly, to better realize and understand why he was acting the way he was.

            So, Emotional Intelligence is important. What can I do about it?

            The great news for you is that Emotional Intelligence, like other things, is a skill in life that can be developed. Here are XXX practical ways to effectively improve your EI.

            1. Practice being aware of your feelings. One of the most immediate and pragmatic actions to developing a higher EI is through observation. Take ten minutes each day to sit in a quiet place and reflect on the day’s events. Take careful notice of how you feel as you relive the day. Or, set a timer on your watch or phone and record how you feel in reaction to things for a set time each day.

            One of the benefits to this exercise is in learning to trust your emotions, that in turn learns to better management.

            2. Practice empathy. Empathy is truly one of most practical of emotions in developing bonds with others, as it stands on a common understanding of what others may be going through. Notice how you feel when you notice a homeless man, or when another is going through a bad day. Ask yourself why you feel the way you do?

            3. Take responsibility. This is incredibly difficult, and yet incredibly important. Realize that at the end of the day, your emotions come you. They come from somewhere deep inside your soul. They do not come from others. If someone makes a snide remark about your appearance, and you belt out something hurtful in response, take ownership.

            Taking ownership is hugely important as it will force you to recognize and change your behavior, as you realize that it is you that has ultimate control over the emotional switches and buttons in your life.

            Similar to other skills, Emotional intelligence has quite a profound effect on the course one takes through life. To better manage and control your emotions, click here.

How to Survive and Thrive When You Have Hit Rock Bottom?

You are a failure. You’ve washed out. Been defeated. Collapsed. Maybe you have had some past successes in your life. But that doesn’t matter right now, does it? Nope. Not in the slightest. What matters right now is that you have or had some goal, and that goal has not been realized.

            Your business broke down. Your relationship with a loved one has deteriorated. Your health has imploded. Every wall that you have managed to put up around yourself, has crumbled into dust.

            It’s like….the entire Universe is against you.

            Let’s face it. You should just quit right now. Just give up. You won’t achieve your dream, your goal. It’s impossible. All the cards are stacked against you. The game is rigged against you. You feel like a miniature pawn being played on the giant chessboard of life, powerless to change and redirect reality as you see fit.

            So, why not just pack your bags right now, tuck your tail between your legs, go home and call it quits?

            Because you know deep down inside…that you don’t want to do that. You don’t want to quit. You know you have to keep on going.

            Your head however…which inside rests that marvel of biology, the human brain, is telling you something quite different. It’s telling you that past experience has proven to you that this isn’t going to work. It’s just not. It’s telling you to give up.

            So, what do you do? 
           

            Perspective, perspective, perspective.

            At the 2005 Kid’s Choice Awards, Hollywood Superstar Will Smith articulated what he considered to be the keys to life; running and reading. He narrated how, when you are able to defeat the “small man” inside your head that beckons you to quit when hitting the pavement, you will learn how to not surrender when life becomes too difficult.

            But it was his second point that is more pertinent. Smith declared that likewise to read is also the key to life. It goes something a little like this.

            There have been billions and billions of humans who have lived before you.

            At some point, there was a human, who had a problem exactly like yours, solved it, and then wrote that solution down in a book.
           
            The key point that I want to make to you, is not that you should read (although the benefits of that should be fairly obvious), but rather to keep perspective.

            Your problem is not exclusive. Your circumstances are not different. Your failure is not unique.
           
            Others have managed to overcome this problem. And you can (will!) to.

            Develop a Plan

            Anthony Robbins, one of the top motivational speakers in the world, dispenses upon his readers the desire for all humans to possess certainty.  When humans feel uncertain about their life or a particular aspect of it, they become restless and deeply troubled.

            Which is why the next step towards attaining a calm exterior and interior in the face of failure is through the development of a plan.

            Take out a piece of paper and a pen. Write out your goal in plain English at the top of the page. Write out, and be as absolutely detailed as you can, the steps that you can take to realize and achieve that goal. Write out actionablesteps that you can take every day.

            Now hang this piece of paper up to where you can see it. Carry it with you. Recite it. It’s your key to overcoming failure.

            Remember, that nearly every successful human being on the face of the planet has been met with temporary setback. What set them apart was their insistence that that temporary setback need not be permanent defeat.

             If you liked this article, keep coming back for more free advice and resources. You can also check out my new book for more clarity and practical steps towards remaining calm and keeping perspective during personal failure, click this link.