Why is it important to have friends with the opposite gender?
“Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .””
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Everyone needs friends, they are vital to our well being. And what is better than having friends who believe in the same things that you do. I know it is important to have time to ourselves but that should be a choice we make and not one that is forced upon us because we don’t have a good social network.
It’s also important to have friends from the opposite sex. In fact some of my best friendships are with men; they seem to bring different values and ideas to a friendship that is rather refreshing.
Why you don’t need to ‘win or influence’ people to be friends with them?
Who wants to be friends with someone if it always feels like a competition?
This isn’t healthy. Friendship is a time to relax, engage in conversation, challenge occasionally but it isn’t about winning or influencing each other.
The best friendships are forged on trust and understanding not by trying to outdo each other whenever possible.
The most important thing is to meet people that are genuine and authentic. Yes, authenticity is necessary. You want to make friends with someone who is sincere and has attributes that you hold dear, not someone with a hugely differing mindset.
However, it is wrong to suggest the first impression not necessary as it certainly is. We make a judgment on an individual very quickly, so it is worth being true to yourself from the start to ensure a quality friendship can evolve.
The 5 ways to meet such people
1) The Library
This will certainly be a place you will meet fellow students. Naturally, those with a particular interest or course will congregate in the same areas. So you quickly start recognising faces and small conversations will be triggered.
This can also be a good place to meet people if you are already working and want to broaden your circle of friends.
2) The Bar
All students know where the bar is and it is often the focal point of all activities, particularly for the first year students. Therefore it is a great place to meet people and start conversations with those around you. If working it can be useful to ask around and establish if there are any regular places that colleagues attend to unwind at the end of the week. This is a great way to relax and get to know the people you will be spending a lot of time with.
Generally, joining a club or society of something you are interested in will inevitably put you in contact with people with the same interest.
Any college or sport centre all has a list of available sports. There is a certain sort of friendship that develops quickly when working as a team.
If living in halls of residence then this is easy as you are surrounded by other students, all feeling as you do. You simply have to go out there and start a few conversations.
If working start by simply acknowledging neighbors as you go about your day and make a point of introducing yourself.