#Blurred Lines has been one of the most talked about phrases since the song based on the same name created havoc last year.
In case you haven’t heard it, you can easily find it on Youtube. It was banned at many student organisations due to the sexist lyrics and for promoting misogyny and rape culture.
On the one hand you will see feminists protesting against the usage of this phrase completely rejecting its premise while on the other hand you will find a large number of young people who believe otherwise. Let’s dig deeper and find out what it means and why it’s important.
In the hook up culture, sexual double standards prevail, we all know that. This means, women who are open about their choices, dating preferences and lifestyle are often labelled as ‘promiscuious’ (using the better word).
Those women who want to date or have random one night stands but without being called promiscuois must do it the ‘good girl’ way- meaning, they should reflect blurred lines.
If you believe this, you are in for a loooooooooonnnggggggg trouble!
The TRUTH About Women- for Men
Gone are the days where girls had to pretend to be anything. Most women now are open about their choices. If they want to be with a man, they will not only tell him but also fight for him when needed. Whatever name you call, women don’t really care anymore because they are much more open mided than you think. If she is not going for you, she really really really doesn’t like you. Instead of taking that on your EGO and trying to convince yourself that she wants it, you must take some lessons in handling rejections and get on with your life. You cannot rape everyone who rejects you and you cannot murder every employer who trashes your CV. The earlier you learn this lesson, the better it is. Most of the times, it is not even about you. Don’t take it too personal and move on.
The TRUTH About #BLURRED LINES- for Women
You may be dating someone or you may like them and you have or haven’t thought yet about sharing a bed.
No one but you, has the right to decide whether you want to sleep with someone or not, and when.
Sometimes, you just meet someone, you like them, you feel the chemistry but you dont want to sleep with them instantly. You don’t even have to have a reason for it, you just don’t. This can happen with men too by the way.
The moment you hear the other person say “oh come on, you know you want it”… my suggestion is………..
Run as fast as you can, and don’t look back! Trust me you won’t regret!
Why am I so confident?
When people say “oh come on, you know you want it” what they really mean is “I cannot use force or aggression straight away because I fear prison, so I am trying to MANIPULATE you into thinking that YOU are the one who wants it”.
There are many sorts of rapes and the three most common you hear are:
- Date Rape
- Acquaintance Rape and
- Stranger Rape
We fear most the last one, the stranger rapes because most often there is a use of a weapon or force. But guess which one of the three kinds has the largest number of victims???
Its the acquaintance rape! It is also the most UNDER REPORTED rape kind.
Date rape is usually in a car or somewhere quiet after a date but acquaintance rape happen at people’s own homes and hang out areas, dorm rooms, libraries etc. This is because there is an element of trust involved. The rapist is a trust authority or friend and the victim has no idea of what is coming. Taking advantage of someone’s trust is plain crime, there is no blurred line about that. Just because someone trusts you enough to be with you, does not make give you the right to break that trust.
Blurred lines is the phrase used by these offenders to:
- firstly manipulate the victim to think that she ‘asked for it’ or ‘she liked it’ when she didn’t.
- secondly to force her to blame herself post rape, that will ensure no reporting
Manipulation is more powerful and more commonly used in rape than a weapon.
When it comes to dating, we may take our time to decide whether or not we like someone to go out with them again. Even if we don’t and our friends or someone else thinks we make a good couple, sometimes we consider it and say “OK I will give it another chance”.
However when it comes to sex, there is NO #BLURRED LINE.
We know if we want it or not, straight away.
And if you have to try to convince yourself to have sex with someone, you are NOT doing yourself any good.
“I owe him sex, he paid for the dinner”
“He brought me that expensive gift, may be I must reciprocate”.
“I have to look cool, I have to do this to get popular”.
“I am married to him, it’s his right”. WRONG
Neither of these are good reasons to sleep with someone and the worst one is “he said I wanted it, may be I do but I just don’t know it yet”.
Sex is an expression of your body and your connection with peace and pleasure. Who you have it with, must be your choice based on your feelings. Even if you want it and half way though you change your mind for whatever reason, you still have the right to STOP and walk away.
There is NO blurred line even if you stop halfway through the sex.
I hope that clarifies the never ending blurred lines debate and make sure everyone understands that blurred lines mean plain and simple manipulation. Now you know what to do next time when someone says “you know you want it”.