Why Priya Killed Herself and Why Many Others Will Too? LGBT Marraiges in India and the trauma of social pressure

The recent death of a Delhi doctor Priya Vedi has once again raised the issue of LGBT relationships in the Indian community which our religious and political leaders are dying to skip over.

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A similar story is what I witnessed but with a weirder ending.

When I was in High School, a young lady in my community (Muslim) got married. The marriage was not just two people tying the knot but more of a charade because she was the only daughter of a very high profile figure of the city. The groom and his family were richer and migrants of UAE.

bride-323316_640 There were talks of how many kilograms her wedding dress weighed, how many million dishes were prepared for the wedding buffet and that one of the dowry materials gifted to her was a 90,000 rupee bed! I never got why people told me all this but that’s what I heard.

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Two years later and the lady, who was also a dentist, returned home with a little baby. No one knew why. It seemed like a short visit home but rumors began when she joined her old job as a dental college professor. Few years passed by further and finally she revealed in confidence to her friend that her husband was GAY!

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He was a rich socialite and under pressure from his parents and society (Indian Muslim), he needed a wife to shut everyones mouth. After the wedding however, he never conusmmated the marriage and just as Priya reveals in her suicide note, this woman also discovered homosexual paraphernalia in the home.

They had several discussions and fights and someday somehow they did consummate the marriage so that a child could be born. This child was supposed to shut the constant questions of his parents and society about their family planning so it was not out of love or conjugal ceremony but simply out of convenience that she got pregnant. Things got worse after that and she finally could not put up with the guy.

Since she returned, neither the guy nor his family ever took interest in her or the kids life and 10 years later she was informed- HE KILLED HIMSELF IN A LONELY APARTMENT!

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In Priya’s case it was her and in this case, it was the husband.

If you ask whom to blame and punish, there is no easy answer. Superficially it might seem like the gay person is responsible but actually the truth is far more complex.

  • Does the Indian society give gay individuals a chance to survive like they do to non gays?
  • Do gays have access to health care, education, employment and social stability just as non gays?
  • If they reveal their identity, would the society even allow them to exist?

Around the world, activists are fighitng for the rights of LGBT community but in India, forget about the rights…we haven’t even recognized their existence!

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For Indian medical community, gays are mentally ill. They do not fall into the same human category as the others. We may fight for their rights when we see them as right worthy. As long as they are seen as the junk or burden of the society, this won’t stop. In fact may be in the Indian terms, the first step towards LGBT activism must be their recognition as human beings-not retards.

For those of you who are unaware- people are NOT gay by choice! Just as you are NOT straight by choice! Science has revealed many substantial evidences but I will simplify it for you once and for all so you NEVER FORGET it.

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For a gay person, their brain works that way which may or may not be in alignment with their biological genitalia. Or in other words, everyone who has a penis may not be a male in their minds. Or everyone who has a penis may not be attracted just towards females in their mind. It is 100% God given and NOT a conspiracy or rebellion.

Imagine spending your entire life being hated, discriminated, being banned from community, denied access to health care and education…

Do you think a person would choose that? Does it give them any incentive? Does it sound like fun to you?

Actually if being gay were a choice, seeing the amount of aggression and violence against gays, I doubt people would intentianally choose to be gay, ever.

Suicides in India, whether of gay individuals or those frustrated by them- is actually the outcome of our social structure. We have such a tight knit closed off society that after sending missiosn to Mars and attaining infinite wealth, we still are unable to accept such a simple fact-

GAYS ARE HUMANS;RESPECT THEM!

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India is a long way from LGBT community to claim the same rights as others but I can bet that until we recognize their rights; there will be far more deaths of both straight and gay people. Heck, in our community we barely accept men and women getting married out of their caste. Inter religious marriages or same sex marriages…which ones more heart attack causing to our ancient politicians…I don’t know.

“In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man; either, a human being, without feeling fear, restraint, or obligation.”
Simone de Beauvoir

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