Can ambitious women ever have a good family life?
Last night’s episode of The Mindy Project got a little too surreal.
I’ve been a long time fan of the show and was always able to relate to the character of Mindy Lahiri in many ways.
After the glorious and fun dating phase ended, the show descended into the more serious and deeper problems of a matured, grown up couple.
Now its all about baby responsibilities and adjustments. While marriage is something Mindy always wanted, now that it’s happening… it’s taking a toll on her.
Yes, its easy to say that now we live in a liberated society where career women exist and several cool companies like Netflix are making it ever more possible for parents to juggle work and family.
But I suppose, you reach in that stage once you find a guy who is willing to be half responsible for a baby. May be, it’s just me but I don’t know how many men in general are happy to clean up baby diapers while mommy is away? If you have one, you’re really fortunate. But I’m sure there aren’t many. At least not around me, so before you judge me to be sexist; just assume I’m unfortunate.
So what about the rest? Should we compromise and give up on our careers and dreams to stay home and make babies?
Or do we stay single and may be adopt or make one with a donor, as and when we might like?
More importantly, why wouldn’t men want to take half the responsibility of raising a child? I asked this question to few and most of them said “that’s what my father did. That’s how the grand father did. They never got involved with anything baby. It was all the mother’s job”.
To that I said “your grandfather and father used to ride horses and donkeys, why are you driving cars then?”
As usual, the conversation pretty much either ends there or gets messy. You know that stage when someone know how stupid they sound and they have no logical reasonable explanation but they rather stick to their self illusions rather admit they need to change.
It’s all about convenience, isn’t it?
Just because it is convenient, you are driving a car and not riding a donkey like your grandfather.
But raising a baby is inconvenient. It needs patience, sleepless nights, hard work… so why don’t we use the same old tradition,woman’s place and all those bull shit excuses and simply don’t partake any role in parenting.
There are dads that I see who flaunt their fatherhood on social media profiles boldly. And it gives me hope… hope that not all fathers are too distant, too manly, too aloof to be dads, not just fathers.
My mother stayed at home by choice and father participated in raising us despite working. I guess when you live in another country away from your family then its only the two of you who have to be there. You cannot rely on your mother-in-law or sister-in-law to help out. Hence the dad has no excuse but to be there. That worked out greatly in our favor but dad has participated equally in raising my little brother even when things changed. He wakes my brother up, gets him ready for school, drops him, picks him, arranges his school things while mom helps with homework and other regular chores. And its perfect…
When Danny was giving Mindy a hard time for starting another business venture, she did her best to explain that the kid will not be neglected. And if Danny was so worried, why doesn’t he give up on his career and stay at home! That’s where most men falter, because they have no other excuse but the same old, I’m a man and I can’t stay home. Well, why should she?
I loved the movie The Intern starring Robert Di Nero and Anne Hathaway in which her husband is a stay at home dad despite being previously a super successful professional. Having a partner who understands your dreams and is willing to see you fly, is such a blessing.
The Mindy Project has been my super fav show and I’ll continue watching it but the problems are getting too serious and I really hope to see some good resolution of this career or home dilemma, the character is currently facing.
Die-hard fan of TMP 🙂