The Damn Indian Wedding Season: 8 Excuses To Pressurize & Manipulate Single People To Get Married…

I have seen Reese Wither-spoon and Katy Hie-gel romantic comedies as much as the next person. Sharukh’s romantic gestures and Hugh Grant’s soulful eyes  bring tears and choke my throat as much as the next persons but that doesn’t mean I must jump into marriage with the next Melvin that asks me out.

Winter season in India means two things:

1- Lavish, show off weddings and

2- Ruining lives of all the single people by making them feel guilty. 

Now, if you don’t know a lot about the Indian culture, you might ask, why would you feel guilty by being single. It’s your life after all, you making any personal decision doesn’t impact anyone but you.

But that’s NOT the case in my society. I NOT getting married is apparently causing insomnia to my parents, their neighbors, their friends, the far off relatives who I haven’t seen in last 8 years, the street dog, the local laundry lady, the house help and every single thing that moves in 2000 mile radius.

The 8 most common excuses used by family to manipulate you and emotionally blackmail you into getting married are extracted from a real conversation. Tell me how many have you come across?

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I believe whether it is the decision to marry or divorce; it must be self motivated without doubts, fears and obligation. That’s it. Is it really such a difficult thing to understand?

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4 thoughts on “The Damn Indian Wedding Season: 8 Excuses To Pressurize & Manipulate Single People To Get Married…

    • I understand the laughing, trust me I laugh too on the silliness of all this. Thanks for reading, I’m glad u liked it. Will check out the one u shared. Keep reading and sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Loved reading your post, it’s 100% accurate.

    Marriage talk didn’t come up much when I was in high school and the early years of college. One of my best friends got married at 18 and another got married at 21. So of course desi aunties started saying “You’re next.” It went on for awhile with a few comments like that, nothing too bad. But I didn’t feel pressured until I found out that my relatives back home were just passing out pictures of me. I felt so offended that they were making decisions about my life without my permission.

    My grandmother straight up told me “You’re getting too old for marriage. What kind of guy would you like us to find for you?” I was 20 then. Now, I understand that my grandmother is from a different time where she was married and had a kid at age 15…but still, they treated it like a checklist as if guys just grow on trees. As long as the guy met the criteria, things like love, chemistry, compatibility, or attraction just didn’t matter.

    I come from a simple Bengali Hindu family and the idea of not getting married or marrying outside of our “community” was giving everyone and their uncle heart attacks. So you can imagine what happened when I told them I had a half Peruvian/half Bolivian Christian boyfriend. Relatives from overseas were calling up my parents saying they’d given me “too much freedom” and bringing me to America was a mistake because I had “forgotten our culture and values”, etc. Luckily, my parents told them “If that’s what she wants, what can we do about it?”. I’m grateful that they defended me even if they hadn’t fully accepted my relationship.

    Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 8 years now. We’ve have plans to get married later, and we even have our wedding rings. My parents and family have somewhat made peace with my relationship since finding out. But naturally they still constantly want know why I am not married yet. My reason: I don’t want to, I don’t think I’m ready to be a wife yet. But what I really want to say is “Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about why YOU are so worried about what I’m doing.”

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    • Hi Mallika, Thanks so much for sharing your story. I guess most Indian Young women must have gone through this experience of people trying to ‘fix them’ with some guy they think is right for her. I’m so happy to hear about your half Peruvian/half Bolivian Christian boyfriend. It almost sounds like a romance novel tale because Indian girls rarely marry outside of their caste, forget about religion and nationality. Mixed race people are so cool because they just naturally exude the ‘no borders can stop love’ vibe.
      I’m glad the post resonated with you. Please do keep visiting and sharing your stories. Sending good wishes from UK.

      Like

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