For all the people highly upset with Salman Khan for his recent remarks around comparing himself with a raped woman, let’s give him a break. I mean, the poor guy doesn’t know anything about it and probably can’t understand why you are all so upset with him. So here’s an open letter to Mr Salman Khan that you and I can forward to him and help the poor soul out. (in case some dumb people didn’t get, this was sarcasm).
Dear Mr Salman Khan,
Your recent remarks have created a media storm and brought you tremendous online wrath of concerned feminists from around the world. I feel for you. It’s not a nice place when you are hated for something you ‘just said‘, right?
Let me explain this to you bit by bit so you get why people are so upset with your raped woman remark.
You compared rape with a heavy weight workout or fight scenes. There is absolutely no similarity between the two and here’s why.
Imagine yourself peacefully watching TV in the comfort of your own home. A person whom you trust, sits by you and you talk normally. Gradually this person overpowers you in some manner. Since you are a guy, imagine that the other guy is more powerful than you or has drugged you so you cannot control your limbs.
Now imagine this guy disrobe you while you just watch in shock and horror. With or without the drug, your limbs are frozen because you cannot believe that someone whom you trusted so much can do this to you. And while you continue watching, this person penetrates you and you lie powerless feeling betrayed and dirty.
Once this guy is done with you, he threatens you not to disclose this secret with anyone and even if you did, either he might harm you again or make sure no one believes you.
How does that feel now?
I’m sure there are no bruises! No visible cuts or marks on your physcial body.
Does this scenario feel like practicing fight scenes for a film to you???
When you do practice for a film scene and finally shoot and release that film scene into the world; does the world give you fame, wealth and respect for your work? What does a raped woman get when she discloses her ordeal to the police, the court and the society?
Does she make boat loads of money like you do?
Is she respected like a hero or shamed and blamed for what happened with her?
The reason why people are upset with you is because the irreversible psychological trauma that a rape victim goes through is so deep and painful and you just compared it with a few fight practice scenes in a moive!!!
May be you feel like rape is only physical hence the remark. But you and all your followers have no idea, you are completely oblivious to the mental shock and horror that the victim has to go through.
Hence marital rape in India is considered trivial and a non criminal act. Because people like you think that if once someone has intercourse, and when they are married, why would that make any difference. But rape is a psychological violation more than a physical violation. The bruises carved deep in the minds of victims are not seen by you and your followers and I can only hope that you at least try.
I urge you to recognise this and invite you to be a student of women’s issues. You have a mother and sister at home. It’s not like you are out of touch with women and do not know what their lives are like. Take deeper interest and ask them questions. Learn from them and other smarter women about what it’s like to be a woman in the Indian society and specially what it’s like to have your psychological and physical integrity violated by someone.
Being human is about caring for all humans; not just men. Rape victims are humans too. Respect them at least if you cannot do anything else for them.