My Stalker Of The Decade Award Goes To This Guy

Hi sweet readers, today I have a juicy award announcement for you all.

You all know that a stalker is like the unwanted element in your life that you just don’t want to think about. But when the stalker approaches you in the form of a friend and you just never imagine this person to make a move on you and then he does and you tell him that it’s not happening and he takes rejection like a 3 year old kid (only the stalker harasses and abuses violently…) then what.

Have you seen movies where one second the guy is all knees down, totally in love with the girl and the next minute as she refuses his proposal, he is threatening to spill acid on her face?

This guy is a slight version of that film. A friend from high school who keeps making a move, and then I keep explaining that I don’t like him that way and then he refuses to understand until I get totally pissed off.

This is a decade long story, if I start to tell you from the beginning, this post will turn into an Indian TV Soap Opera.

But there are two super cliche things that happened this time which I wanted to share with you all;::

1- When the woman talk intelligently and question such men back, they instanly call her crazy, lonely, depressed, moron and

2- Guys who see women living a happy independent life on their own (without needing a man, specially not them), will go tooth and nail to suggest that she needs to ‘get married’ because she has a missing element in her life. 

The same guy, who thinks of himself as some sort of expert on women, also recommended few days ago that I should relax because my articles and blogs are about serious issues around women’s lives. (Referring to my post in the Telegraph about the murder of Qandeel Baloch).

According to him, women writing fiction love stories and other romantic stuff are happy and likeable while women writing on serious nonfiction stuff are somehow in trouble.

Friends,

time and again I face this harassment from people I know. They see me succeeding, my voice being heard in international media, my books being read by women facing hardships and my personal one-to-one HEART CHATS with any person who needs some advice or just a friend to talk to.

These people see me happy, content, truly peaceful in my zone. AND THEN THEY RECOMMEND I GET MARRIED.

Why such people don’t feel ashamed that this is NOT THEIR BUSINESS?

WHO ARE THEY TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE?

WHY DON’T THEY QUESTION THEIR STATUS BEFORE ASSUMING THEIR ADVICE IS NEEDED AT ALL?

I blocked this person from my life years ago.

And then in 2-3 years he would find me on some social media and get in touch.

And since I’m busy building my life and have totally moved on from his last idiotic thing, I would forgive him for old times sake and ask him how things were.

And within a week he would again make a move. I would then block him.

This has been happening for a decade plus now. Fortunately I’m not in the same country.

He also spread rumors in my school community that we dated back in school. What a loser! I just feel pity for him and more for his wife. Poor woman, how is someone ever going to put up with his bi-polar personality; one minute ‘Harry Met Sally’ and next minute, ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre.’

Anyways, my STALKER OF THE DECADE AWARD TOTALLY GOES TO HIM.

Please find his conversation below and see how his motives change.

Also, please comment below and share your stalker stories and raise awareness about ‘friends-turned-stalkers’. 

Peace out friends!

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11 thoughts on “My Stalker Of The Decade Award Goes To This Guy

  1. He deserves to get stalker of the decade award. Such a conversation and history. How has he got so much time? Can I give him some work?
    Shahla, good you blocked him! And now just don’t let him talk to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hehehe thanks Parul. According to him he has some big secret goals that he is working on. I did a post about that too. Check it out http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/real-hustlers-vs-wishful-thinkers-are-you-really-working_us_57a28143e4b0f019c3e4b482?

      And these are definitely symptoms of someone who has tons of time and no real aim in life. What’s interesting is how men who I grew up with, treat me when it comes to career, life purpose and marriage.

      Men who are my friends think that they have some kind of moral fucked up duty to ‘show me the right path’ to marriage. When they clearly see that unlike them, my life as an entreprenuer is pretty fulfilled and peaceful. I don’t have time to think about why they are single.
      Yet they have tons of time to advice me. 🙂

      I guess it tells who is a miserable loser.

      :)) thanks for the comment, loved it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! I went through something similar with a guy I went on a date with. I’d say he’s my stalker of the year I’ve blocked him on everything and he always finds a way to communicate with me. I change my mind unblock him and hours later he’s talking very similarly to this “friend” you have lol. I have him blocked and this time I’m not unblocking him.
    Great post.

    Like

    • Thanks Jennifer.
      That’s the thing, I don’t know if these guys have something shot in their brain that stops them from gracefully accepting that it is disrespectful to make moves on women who are not interested and actually expect more decency from them as they began as friends.
      God bless. Thanks for the comment. 🙂 Be safe.

      Like

  3. Saying “I love you” is apparently a crime now.
    You see how much a man risks? There’s 1% change you’ll love him back, and 99% chance you think he’s insane because he says he loves you.
    OK, I get it, this is unwanted love for you right now. But how can he do any better?
    Namely, what’s the appropriate and efficient way to seduce you? Please blog about it sometime!

    Like

    • Mr notmajbiznes… expressing love is not a crime… no where in the blog I say that. What is crime is stalking— and hitting on a woman who clearly is a friend and who verbally, in words told you several times that she is not interested in having a relationship.

      He can do better by letting it go. Falling in love with someone is not a crime. But forcing the other person to accept your feelings, whether or not she feels the same way is a CRIME!

      Appropriate way to seduce me is to use your BRAIN and EARS… Listen to what I say and respect my feelings and if you cannot, then please do not beg to unblock you. That’s how the guy can improve…

      Any let me put it out there that when such men use the word ‘love’, what they are actually talking about is their ego/wish/decision.

      Because love is not one minute all flowers and other minute curse words. When you love someone you do not accuse them of being terrorists one moment and beg for forgiveness the next 50 days.

      Intelligent women don’t fall for this crap. They are smart enough to know the difference betweeen boyish charms that turn into tantrums and a gentleman’s way of dealing.

      Hope this helps.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dear Miss Shahla,

        What you say totally makes sense. Disrespecting women and calling them names if they reject a someone is rude and unacceptable. It’s like throwing bricks at a company that doesn’t want to hire someone. Also spreading rumors is very bad, no doubt this man is a moron if he acted like that after rejection.

        Using brains and being a gentleman is the best of course for the purpose of love or fun, or satisfaction. Also dressing well and being a decent man is good 😉 sometimes even a smile and a nice outfit makes a huge difference and make women more interested, I know all that from first hand 😉

        But I would like to focus a bit about the messages that you exchanged before the bad things happened. I’m afraid that the man was an asshole… not to justify him… in part because he was very misunderstood.

        What strikes me is your reaction to this man’s initial saying. Maybe it was out of blue, maybe you don’t want it that way, but what he said is totally valid. He said he loved you, and it’s true, even if he has shallow and immature definition of love… and you became pissed off, precisely because of that. But it was just a fact, he felt “something” for you and called this love… I guess you would be equally angry if he told you he wants you to be his girlfriend, or wants a date, or wants to fuck.

        You can be pissed off because of rumors that happened later… but you totally shouldn’t be pissed off because someone loves you. I didn’t find a sign of disrespect in the few initial messages… even if this man is not sexually attractive to you.
        He shouldn’t tell you you need a partner… and should get married, but that’s only after you became pissed off that he wants you! I would totally call it a form of revenge.

        I agree he is a beta, doesn’t have his life together, live with parents and has some psychological issues… but I don’t agree that you should be angry about a man saying he wants you in a certain way! To me that’s a totally acceptable for a man to want women’s bodies, time and companionship, just as it’s acceptable for a women to want man’s bodies, time, companionship, money or protection.

        You expect him to be a decent friend and be a gentleman and that’s fine. But as much as you didn’t want him to become your lover… he doesn’t want to be your platonic friend.

        I can stand it when a woman says to me “my dear, I like you, but I’m not attracted/interested”… but I also become angry, sad and frustrated when a women becomes angry if I tell her something or try to touch her.

        Probably he never wanted to be a platonic friend to you, because he complained later that you never took him seriously…

        Like

      • That’s the part you need to begin with 🙂 He doesn’t want to be a platonic friend and I never forced him to be. But he keeps begging to be at least a friend and when after several pleas I agree, then he throws in the ‘I love you’. Loving anyone is not bad but you will get pissed off when someone gives you a phone for your birthday and says it’s APPLE only to find out later it was some cheap chinese plastic copy. AND THAT’S WHEN YOU DIDN’T WANT THE PHONE AT ALL IN THE FIRST PLACE!
        BUT THIS PERSON KEEPS FORCING YOU TO HAVE AN IPHONE THAT IS A CHEAP COPY WORTH NOTHING.

        And this is not just once. As the title says, this has been going on since a decade. Since we were in school. At 30, he still is playing these games where he says he is a friend and then starts expecting more than friendship. And the moment he gets denied, he starts personal attacks. Since he and I are from different religions, he even made racist, sexist, Islamohobic slurs that I didn’t even mention.
        Abusing to this level and making associations of any Muslim with ISIS just because she rejected your ‘i love you’; it’s ridiculous, childish and worth a police complaint. His racist attacks I didn’t even mention above cause after that he sent apologies for 60 days. What’s the point? Why stoop so low that you have to beg for forgiveness for so long and the moment you are forgiven you repeat the same thing… wht a joke he is. I pity his psychology.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh… now that’s really very desperate, I also pity him now.
        WTF? He’s 30! He should find many other girls to adore! Or get a life, and some other interesing thins to do with his finite lifespan!
        And buying a fake phone that you don’t need says more than we need about this poor man.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Glad it makes sense. 🙂

        I totally respect people’s feelings and when guys come to me with compliments and proposals, it’s quite nice, whether or not I accept it. Frankly- it feels great- it tells people like me, I must be doing something right…

        But I only get disappointed when people don’t respect my feelings and start faking things to get their way with me. I met several other guys in my life who were friends at first and then at some point mentioned that they have a crush on me.
        Which is fine, I get it and if I didn’t feel the same way about them, I respectfully communicated and they are still friends, despite them being married and dads now!
        We still chat once in a blue moon and it’s not awkward. I moved on, the guys moved on…who cares.

        This one is a unique case, hence the award 🙂

        Like

      • Getting a compliment doesn’t always mean you are doing something right, sometimes it’s enough just to be pretty 😀

        Like

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