Being single in this big, bountiful, beast-full world is a challenge.
The one thing I hear quite often is about my #FOMO on kids.
Strangers (who don’t give a damn about me) are extremely worried about my reproductive system not functioning well when I want to have kids.
First of all, I don’t get why people take it as a given that every woman wants to have a child or rather, HAS to have a child.
Let me break the news to you- women are more than human incubators and pacifiers, so, yes they may very well decide NOT have to use their reproductive systems at all.
Just like every human (most) have a voice box but not everyone wants to become an opera singer, similarly, just because I have a uterus and ovaries doesn’t mean I would specifically want to use it.
Secondly, what’s the point of being a mother if you can’t spend it the way you want?
I’m not judging anyone here because I’m matured enough to understand that not all people have the privileges that I have and their choices may be limited. But before I explain what I mean- just see this advert about working moms.
It teared me up because when a woman is working, she has double the responsibilities.
The world today is such, no one can guarantee that the child’s father will do at least his part of the job. My cousin sister is married but earning and raising her daughter entirely on her own and help from her father.
You might suspect the father might be a broke ass hustler but he is a well-qualified engineer who just doesn’t care enough to feed his second child even (he has one son from another lady). This picture below is only a fantasy for most.
That’s the irony of the modern life. Relationships are as fragile as ever.
I love children. But having one of my own is not something I would consider unless I have enough buck in the bank that I can focus all my attention on one thing.
This woman in the advert is working her ass off. And for every woman out there who has a family and goes out to work- I’m not judging you, I SALUTE YOU!
You’re wayyyyyyyyyy more active, productive and hustler than I am.
But this does not mean I should feel forced into pumping out babies just because others have.
I’m simply not built for it. Maybe if I had no choice and if I were forced into it, I don’t know how I might have put up with it. But as long as I have a CHOICE, why would I give it up?
It’s like getting into trouble, purposely.
There’s so much that I have to do on my own yet, check out these 3 that are on top-
1- I’ve to go backpacking across Ireland.
2- I’ve to learn Waltz in Vienna for 3 months.
3- I’ve to witness the Northern Lights in a tent.
Now, with all this stuff to do, baby plans don’t fit in as yet. They might someday when all this and the rest of the things on my bucketlist are met, but for sure, I wouldn’t want to have a baby and then regret when I’d see single people backpacking across the world.
Just as I respect people’s choice to have babies, I’d like people to respect my choice to not have one at all (or till the day I feel ready for it. )
Now, I’m humbled that people care so much about the single woman of the society who has dreams of her own, to do something for herself that makes her happy… but sorry, not sorry!
Whether you have babies or not, please make sure your decision is based on your likings rather than fear or “since my neighbour had one, I should too”.
I have never had any, but I see the amount of sacrifices and hard work that goes into raising another human being.
I can’t feed a fish pet, how do I take the risk of bringing another human life into this world.
And I have no shame in admitting that my priorities are taking care of my family first, the mother and father who brought me on earth. And I also have no shame in admitting that unless I’m internally ready for it, forcing myself into it will only make me a terrible mother.
So, all those worried about my reproductive system- “take a chill pill”.
And don’t worry if my ovaries don’t work, I will happily take care of one of the millions neglected by so-called parents.
Happy days for everyone!