So, my general assumption is that when someone says they are “FEMINIST”, it means they believe in FEMINISM.
I mean why wouldn’t I assume that?
If you tell me you are a Ph.D. in English literature, I would know for sure you know who William Shakespeare was, right?
I recently had a conversation with a straight guy, who claimed to be a FEMINIST.
I loved when he said that he is a FEMINIST since not many men that I know, embrace FEMINISM openly.
I WAS IN FOR A SHOCKING REVELATION!
The first alarm bell rang when he said “he doesn’t feel sorry for poor labor class men from developing countries whose human rights get violated in Middle Eastern countries”.
I was shocked and pointed out “your privilege is showing” to which he continued his stance.
I simply said that I doubt he is a FEMINIST and I will explain how privilege and oppression work if we ever meet, but emphasized that he has a lot to learn.
If that did not clue enough, today held another shocking revelation.
I mentioned something about single women being abused by married men.
Instantly it became about men Vs women.
This coming from a FEMINIST was shocking since by definition FEMINISM recognizes that a conversation about women must not be turned around to make it about men.
He continued to emphasize #NotAllMen not acknowledging one thing about women’s oppression. This is how it went in few important screenshots:
WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS??????????
As you can see, I’ve hidden the senders’ identity so my mission is not to name and shame anyone.
But I could not help write about this because of my failed assumption.
FEMINISM is a cool label for people to tag these days including men. Men who want to seem open minded and progressive may be even to attract independent strong women.
And it is very much possible that men and even women call themselves FEMINISTS without actually putting any effort into learning what it is and what it is about.
I BEG YOU- FEMINISM IS NOT A COOL LABEL ONLY, IT’S A RESPONSIBILITY-
- Responsibility to educate yourself about women’s rights and their historical oppression.
- Responsibility to hold men accountable where they step on women’s conversations where the focus is women’s experiences and not a competition of who’s got it worse.
- Responsibility to LISTEN to women instead of mansplaining.
I would love if not just one but all the men in the world identify as FEMINISTS but unfortunately, that still won’t do any good if in their hearts they only keep trivializing women’s’ experiences and mansplaining FEMINISM AND EQUALITY to them.
So, all guys out there, kindly educate yourself before you identify as a FEMINIST. The FEMINIST movement welcomes people of all genders, races and classes except for assholes who say they are FEMINISTS but make no attempt in understanding women’s issues.
Not asking you to quote Gloria Steinem word by word but at least acknowledge that only women, not men have to return home with pepper sprays a night.
Not asking you to recall the name of every SUFFRAGETTE but at least know that when men get harassed no one asks if they wanted it or what they were wearing, and they get harassed mostly by other men.
Not asking you to get published on JEZEBEL but at least recognize that no woman ever has been found taking sexual pleasure by ripping out a man’s intestines or selling male rape videos for 50 INR.
Not asking you to worship Chimamanda Ngozi but accept that no man has ever been asked if he can handle work and kids simultaneously and no boys were sent home because their shorts or tank tops were too ‘short’ or distracting girls.
FFS men sexualise girls bodies by the age of 12 on average!!!!
UPDATE: The next day he apologized.