We live in a society that idolizes angry men.
Just look randomly at a bunch of men’s magazines. How many do you see smiling and happy?
Its considered sexy on men to be angry, gloomy and gangster.
While this look may work on a magazine cover or a seductive perfume ad or a movie poster, but in real life it is killing men.
Penn psychologists did this amazing research study in which using big data, they analyzed what words people use on their social media and is there any link between those words/moods with heart disease.
I know it sounds like two different things but stick with me. Here is the word cloud that suggested the most used words from men’s profiles.
Notice the use of cuss words. Overall the use of these words does not suggest positivity or a beautiful, meaningful life. In fact, from this word cloud alone, we can sum up what we have taught men:
1- Use cuss words and be angry at petty things, that will make you look masculine.
2- Guns, warfare, military type hobbies or interests that will perpetuate violence.
3- Competition and fight are good but not sharing and caring.
This worries me deeply for my unborn sons. I do not want to raise little boys to be violent, disturbed little creatures whose only self-worth depends on being hurtful to others and themselves.
On the other hand, let’s see what the word cloud from women’s profiles indicate:
Looking at the word cloud we can see these are the things women care about:
2- Loving, caring and doing things to keep up the home.
3- Shopping because let us be honest when women take care of the kitchen and the household, of course, they are the ones who pick groceries because they would know what to pick for the day to day running of the household.
4- Food. Women like to express there love for food.
5- Feelings play a big part there. And positive feelings of happiness and joy.
Now let’s look at the link:
The world oppresses women in many different ways but can we just agree that TOXIC MASCULINITY is literally killing the men in our lives and can we stop idolizing angry men already?
How many male suicides is it going to take for people to realize that boxing up your emotions and not sharing will ultimately kill?
If you are a guy who has some worries or just feel angry and depressed, there is a lot you can do.
Firstly, you can join a local support group or a FACEBOOK group where you can share and listen to others in a similar situation.
Secondly, you can seek proper therapy through a certified professional.
Thirdly, if it all seems too overwhelming, TALK TO ME. Yes, I am a non-judgmental stranger who has a solid background in emotional trauma and is also a student of Positive Psychology. I am not going to be a replacement for a therapist but can be a listening ear, sometimes that all we need- to be heard!