Men and women have almost equal contribution in the fucked up mess that our society is today.
Undoubtedly, men have played a prominent role as aggressors and oppressors, while women have been the oppressed ones, historically and statistically speaking.
But in most people’s minds, women’s roles in perpetuating misogyny, domestic abuse, and even rapes have been downplayed.
Women make excuses for their abusive husbands, sons, and brothers, among many other awful things that contribute to the oppression of women.
The funny thing that I want to discuss in this article is how while discussing domestic abuse, women dismiss my advice or warnings to suit their narrative.
WHEN I SAY I AM IN A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN:
Speaking as a feminist who has a man in her life who respects and loves her, my advice or whatever statement I make in a discussion is dismissed.
They say I have a good guy, the rest of them are not like him and since I don’t know what an abusive relationship is like, I cannot understand the risks of living a single woman’s life and which is why they would continue to live with an abusive man.
WHEN I SAY I AM A HAPPY SINGLE WOMAN:
They say that I am a man-hating feminist who never wants to be associated with a man. Over the years I have been awarded many other such titles, dominating feminist, a competitor of men, delusional woman who thinks she does not need men blah blah blah.
I have been in both situations, single and in a relationship.
And not for one second I changed my core belief that
A MAN THAT DOES NOT RESPECT YOU OR TREATS YOU AS HIS EQUAL, DOES NOT DESERVE YOU.
Domestic abuse has many aspects and leaving a spouse or partner you love/d is never going to be easy. I never said it would be.
But is it easy to be with a man who can break your skull any moment with a bat?
Technically speaking, almost nothing in life is easy. But instead of finding ways to bring down women who claim to be a feminist and advocate equal rights in a relationship also, not just on paper in society, maybe focus on the reason why you are NOT A FEMINIST.
Feminism to me is religion, it is logic, it is common sense. A way for society to move forward and accept all humans as they are. Just because you have failed to Google a simple definition of what ‘feminism’ is, does not mean I would not call myself a feminist to save me from your judgment.
I have the deepest of sympathies for any person, any gender who is in an abusive relationship and needs help. In fact, this blog is for such people and I get queries from all over the world, from all sorts of people seeking advice. I have studied the topics, researched them and written books on them. So, I know my shit. I know what I am talking about.
But these women defending the abuse and saying ‘this is what marriage is’ and ‘I am putting up with this for my kids’ is a total disaster. Instead of defending abuse and abusive men, break the cycle of abuse by not making your kids watch you get beaten.
And I will always be there to help.
Me, the openly feminist, man-hating single woman. (#satire)